Sacred Thresh-holds

So, I have been going through a lot recently, concerning my calling.  While I was in Haiti I felt, more clearly than ever, called towards the priesthood.  It was if God grabbed me by the shoulders and shook me while saying "I had to drag you to a third world country, now listen".  Since our return, I have been exploring the steps necessary to see this calling through.

I will have to go through a formal discernment process, which you will hear more about as I blog more.  I will have to go back to school to finally finish my undergrad.  I will have to have my bishop's approval.  I will have to have a spiritual director.  There is a very, very abbreviated check list.  This will take years, but I am convinced that this will be one of the most amazing times of transformation that I could ever dream of.

So, one item that I have been prayerfully working on is finding a spiritual director.  Monday, I had an appointment with a S.D. at Sewanee.  At my friend Brad's suggestion, I went up earlier in the day Monday for the noon Eucharist at the Seminary.  The sermon was exactly what I needed to hear.  The Seminarian, Ann, spoke of how scared she was to come to Seminary, to explore her call to the priesthood.  She told us how her S.D. tucked a note in her prayer book on her last Sunday at her home parish saying "You will never be alone; I will pray for you every day".  Ann cited Joshua 1:9 "Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go.”


Boy, did God throw down the gauntlet with that one.  I don't know that I have ever felt more convicted and I still had my meeting with Pam, the S.D., to go!!

So, I really wanted to start the process of the S.D. because there is a considerable amount of jumble in my brain.  I could not imagine going through this process with out an S.D..  So, off I went to meet with Mrs. Pam.  As we spoke, I told her about this feeling of a big, scary wall in front of me.  But, although it was scary, it didn't make me want to proceed any less.  Pam told me that I was at something that she liked to call a Sacred Threshold.

It is amazing how simply putting a name to something reduces the fear of that thing.

I suddenly got excited!!  I was, more than ever, ready to proceed as quickly as possible!  Mrs. Pam and I continued to chat for about another hour and I felt absolutely compelled to continue down the path toward the priesthood.  Compelled in the sense that there was no other option than to throw myself whole-heartedly at this objective!

After Pam and I finished speaking, I went up to the Sewanee Cross so that I could sit, enjoy nature, reflect and journal about the day.  The cross looks out onto a clearing and then the valley below it.  As soon as I opened my journal and began to pour everything out, the trees around began to shake so severely, that it actually startled me.  However, it wasn't just the trees around me.  I looked out at the trees miles below me and I could visibly see them SHAKING as well.  The branches weren't just moving,  I was watching an entire forest SHAKE.  I have never felt that much energy move that fiercely.

It was is if God was, indeed, indicating that I was at one of His thresh-holds.  I felt like he was telling me that if he could make an entire forest shake, to then allow him to shake my soul.


"Sometimes said its suntime
Let it sunshine on my mind
Healing I need healing
A good feeling I can Shine
Feel it like you can see it
Like you can dream it in your mind
Sunny Hallelujah comin to ya
Rain or shine" - "Come In Please" by Edward Sharpe & The Magnetic Zeroes